he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
