I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
