i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
