don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
