she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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