I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
