my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ruined the universe
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
