I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
third nipple confirmed
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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