How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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