Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
