some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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