John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The power of my boobs compel you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
