so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
