Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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