i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize