when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
