I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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