It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
