Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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