Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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