It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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