I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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