The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize