Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
