she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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