I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
