her vagine was all disorganized.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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