His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
