Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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