Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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