I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
