Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
