I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
