Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
