walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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