you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
