is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
