am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
