did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
