Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
