apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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