You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize