Cold hands, warm shart.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my god I love twenty year old dicks
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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