Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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