he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I deserve this hangover.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
