it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
