Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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