I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
