porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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