Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
