Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
