Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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