GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
