This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize