it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You pole danced in your parka.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
