Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
foreskin is a definite game changer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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