every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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