Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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