I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How external is "for external use only"?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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